Customers Behaving Badly

Haalo's post "That's Gold" from 16/4/07 got me to thinking (always a very dangerous thing).

Bad chefs disappear but bad customers just go to a different restaurant.

Using the example as quoted if Shannon was a bad chef with a bad restaurant he would lose customers, go broke and never be heard of again. If Mr Kelson on the other hand was a bad customer he would just move on.

In other words a bad customer is always a bad customer, while a bad chef becomes something else, a food critic or restaurant reviewer perhaps? Or, giving them the benefit of the doubt, a good Waiter / Blogger / Doctor etc.

Now with this in mind I would like to collect some customer reviews. Please fell free to comment and add any you, gentle reader, have come across. Some indication of accuracy would be great, i.e.:

First hand - you actually heard/said it.
Second hand - someone you trust heard/said it.
Third hand - you read it in the media.
Urban Legend - everything else!
I wish - Totally made up or something you wish you could have said/heard.

I'm only interested in the spoken or written word, no special sauce stories please.

I'll kick it off with two.

First Hand - Gordon Ramsay in Hells Kitchen. "Take these blond bimbos back to plastic surgery" a little unjustly I thought, surprisingly, they where actually complaining over not getting their food.

Gordon is sure to be a veritable gold mine of customer reviews, what I'm really would like are the unpublished gems such as:

Second Hand - Waiter in a SOHO restaurant (Wong Kee, I believe, circa 1999) in London. "If you want quick service you f*** off to McDonald's." This is one of my favourites.

and I'll repeat a third:

Third Hand - Shannon Bennett's "The biggest positive I draw from your email is that I am sure you will never walk through the restaurant doors again and will choose to eat a hamburger instead … for that I am truly thankful."

Not as succinct as my second example but far more eloquently put!

Get the drift. If you are concerned with libel email one of us your story and we'll ensure no one can be recognised.

I have more, they will come.

I've changed the title of this post (from Customer reviews) to clarify that I'm more interested in retorts to bad customers rather than indications of bad restaurants. The jury is out on Wong Kee at the moment, Is this a restaurant with great food and bad service? or, does it attact fussy customers looking for abuse? or, ????